Understanding Anxiety in Children: What Parents Need to Know

It’s a tough thing to witness, your child struggling with worry, fear, or overwhelm, and not knowing quite how to help. As a parent, it’s natural to want to protect your child from anything that causes distress. But when it comes to anxiety, the path forward often starts with understanding what’s really going on beneath the surface.

Anxiety in Children: It’s More Common Than You Think

Anxiety is one of the most common mental health concerns in childhood but it doesn’t always look like we expect it to.

Many parents picture anxiety as a child who’s shaking, crying, or expressing obvious worry. But it can also show up as:

• Irritability or anger outbursts

• Avoidance of school or social situations

• Difficulty sleeping

• Physical complaints like stomach aches or headaches

• Clinginess or “meltdowns” that seem out of proportion

These behaviours are often misread as “naughty” or “overdramatic”, when in reality, they’re signs that your child’s nervous system is in overdrive. Anxiety isn’t just a feeling... it’s a body-based stress response.

What Causes Anxiety in Kids?

Children experience anxiety for many different reasons. Some are temperamentally more sensitive. Others may be reacting to change, family stress, school pressure, social challenges, or even internal beliefs about not being “good enough”.

Importantly, children don’t yet have the tools to express or regulate big feelings on their own. That’s where the role of a safe, supportive adult becomes vital.

How to Support an Anxious Child

You don’t need to have all the answers, you just need to be emotionally available. Here’s how you can help:

1. Co-regulate First

When your child is anxious, their thinking brain is offline. Stay calm, grounded, and present. Your calm helps regulate their storm.

Try: “You’re safe, I’m right here with you. Let’s take a breath together.”

2. Name What’s Going On

Children often feel overwhelmed by what they can’t understand. Help them make sense of their experience.

Try: “It looks like you’re feeling really worried about going to school today. That’s okay, lots of kids feel that way sometimes.”

3. Validate, Don’t Minimise

Avoid saying things like “There’s nothing to worry about” or “Don’t be silly”. Even with good intentions, this can make a child feel misunderstood.

Instead say: “That sounds hard. I believe you. Let’s talk about it together.”

4. Create Safety Through Routine and Connection

Predictability helps anxious kids feel secure. So does consistent one-on-one connection. Even 10 minutes a day of undistracted time can make a difference.

5. Encourage (Don’t Push) Brave Behaviour

Support your child in facing small challenges at their own pace with lots of encouragement, not pressure. Every brave step deserves celebration.

“I saw how nervous you were, and you still gave it a go. That’s courage.”

When to Seek Extra Support

If your child’s anxiety is impacting their daily life. Avoiding school, withdrawing from friendships, or struggling to enjoy the things they used to love, it may be time to reach out for professional support.

Somatic Therapy and Counselling can offer:

- A safe space for your child to explore their feelings

- Tools to manage anxiety in a way that’s developmentally appropriate

- Support for you, as the parent, in understanding and responding with confidence and care

- Nervous System Regulation

A free 15 minute discovery call is offered to see if we can help support you and your child navigate challenging times.